What's Wrong?
by Crona4
Summary: "Please, Rumplestiltskin… What's wrong?"


Her soft hand rested gently on his face, carefully cupping his cheek. She wore a bright smile full of affection and hope upon her own face, a mask over years of endless pain and torture that had been dealt to her in her short time. She had gone through so much, just for him. She had been threatened, locked, shot, and forced to do horrible things just because of her undying, loyal love she felt towards him.

He moved faintly into her touch, closing his eyes and breathing in her sweet, calming scent that would probably soon be gone, erased from his heart. She was so beautiful, so, so beautiful… And now he was likely to lose her for the sake of his own revenge and hatred. The self-loathing that overcame him was shocking and he opened his eyes, staring right into her kind blue irises, tenderly questioning him without actual verbal usage.

His hand came up and pushed a lock of her precious chestnut brown hair behind her ear. Her smile simply expanded a little bit and she leaned forwards, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck like she always loved to do. In return, he rested his chin atop her head, his heartbeat quickening as it usually did when he was with his beloved.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed lovingly in a manner that was much more comforting than painful. His own fluffy gray-brown hair was brushed to the side as she rubbed her cheek against his before she returned to her spot, the spot that she had claimed so long ago.

He could feel her wedding ring bump against the meaty flesh on the back of his neck and chills were sent down his spine. She was his for now, but he feared that what he had to do next would break their bondage. He feared that it would split their marriage. One small tear escaped his eye as he imagined losing her after all they'd been through together. It began its treacherous journey down his face, its warmth much in contrast to what it foreshadowed. He dreaded doing what he had to. He dreaded it more than anything.

He pressed his hands against the small of her back, holding her to him like he used to whenever she was upset, though this time it was him that was in despair, not her. He couldn't let her continue like this, though. He couldn't let her live with a hidden lie as her pride and joy, as the symbol of his trust, and as her most prized possession.

"I'm sorry…"

His own words broke his heart, shadowing his soul with grief and darkness. He didn't think that she had heard his apology, and if she had, then she didn't say anything about it or react in any other way. Tears tore at his throat but he refused to let any more fall; one was enough. Still, the pain he felt was all too real.

They had come so far, just to have it all ruined by his own poor judgment and mistakes. He was a coward. He had always been a coward his whole entire life, but now was the first time he truly accepted it. Now was the first time he truly accepted who he was on the inside and the out. He had said it before, but that wasn't enough. Back then, he hadn't really spoken from his heart like he was this time. He hated who he was, why he did the things he did, what he did, and most of all, he hated how he could hurt his wife, his Beauty.

He knew that she had yet to discover her own pain as of current, as she still saw the lie, the illusion, and could not distinguish it as what it truly was. In the past, all that had happened to her had been his fault, however indirectly at times. She had loved him; really, truly loved him. For this reason, she was mentally and physically tormented by his many enemies. Locked away from the world, she was, and more than just once. She was brought forth eternal misery and anguish solely because the queen wanted to harm him.

Added onto that, she had been attacked countless times because of his quarrel with a one-handed pirate. She had been assaulted, her fear fed off of, yet she still stayed with him. The reason why was completely bewildering and unfathomable to him. Every single mishap and agonized second of her life was all at the fault of him, only she still claimed he had light in him. Even though his heart was dark with madness, magic, evil, and darkness, she was able to overlook that. Words could not explain how much that meant to him, that there was still someone out there who loved him and saw that in him. She made him stronger.

Despite this, he brought her down. He had done nothing but bring her down since the moment they had met. Had he not gone to take her away in the first place, she might have enjoyed a long, happy life free of the suffering that came with having ever known him. Had he simply taken the gold and scampered off to his dark castle all alone like he had done many times before, things would have been better for her. She would have married a young, lively, somewhat egotistical prince rather than a cold, despicable, cruel monster like himself.

She knew about his thoughts of himself, and it pained her beyond belief, more than anything else, that he could hold such an opinion, such a grudge. She would rather receive fifty lashes of a whip upon her bare back than to see him in such misery. Her own hot droplets began to pry from her eyes, running free down her fleshy cheeks. She remembered the day they first met like it was yesterday, when really it was many, many years ago.

She had been less than pleased about coming to live with him, but now, looking back on it, she wouldn't change a thing about that day. He was horrid to her, and she loathed him until she finally understood why. Most certainly, neither of them was looking for love. Secretly, she believed that he wanted her there because he was lonely, however much he refused the accusation when she brought it up.

On the other hand, in spite of her gender and the limited options, she had been dreaming of heroics, of doing something for her community and for her people. When the opportunity arose, she took the bait with little hesitation. Her sacrifice became the best thing she ever did. Right behind that, the day she gave herself to him.

It happened on a particularly dark day in Storybrooke. It had been months since the breaking of the curse and therefore their reunion, and they had both been thinking about it without ever bringing it up. She was very sure at the time that she was finally ready to let go of her maidenhood after so long, but only if she were to lose it to him. Even so, she had no idea how to bring it up. Their tender and intense kisses had been nothing compared to what she was certain she wanted to do to him, to do with him. She had known that, though, and she was ready.

The night had begun simple; a kiss here, a touch there. One thing led to another and things started to heat up, to become more intimate. The experience was very sexual and enjoyable for both members and it hadn't taken long for them to decide to bring it to the bed. Parts of them were shown to each other that they hadn't dreamed of showing for a long while. It was perfect.

"Tell me."

Those two words escaped her lips in a whisper so quiet it was nearly inaudible. In spite of her breathy volume, he had heard it. She felt him tremble ever so slightly in her arms and she held him tighter than she had ever held anyone. She could feel him silently weep against her and all she could do was squeeze him comfortingly, her eyelids fluttering down over her eyes as she bathed in his touch, his feel.

She wished he would tell her what was troubling him so. Nothing angered her more than when he kept secrets from her. He was her everything; he was her life. The only other person she truly loved was her father, and even he had done unspeakable actions regarding her. Quite like herself, though, she forgave everyone who had ever done her wrong. It was just who she was.

He mimicked her, pressing her even closer to him, if such a thing was possible. God, he loved her so much… He despised yet adored what she did to him, what she did to his heart. He wanted to tell her everything, but he didn't know how. He could not force the explanation, however difficult, from his lips.

No. He could not ail her any more. He had already done so much to her; he didn't want to burden her even more than he already had. He couldn't do that to his love. He couldn't do that to his Belle.

"Please, Rumplestiltskin… What's wrong?"


End file.
